I've become more and more insecure about my body lately. My stomach isn't as flat as it used to be, my curves are getting curvier and my thighs are thickening. My husband and I have started working out every monday, wednesday, and friday, but lately my immunue system has been deafeated and my sickness leaves my body weak and feeling like I don't want to do anything extra. Thus, these curves, thighs and stomach aren't getting any smaller. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't think "danggg I look sexy" Rather, I think "ugh, what a mess". I've always been that way; never really thought much about my looks. I've never been the beautifl girl, always the pretty, eh average looking girl. In high school (not that it matters anymore) I wasn't popular, mostly the middle overlooked girl. And that's how I still feel. Maybe it's because I don't have the right clothes or I don't wear my make-up right (much less wear it at all because I was never taught how to apply it) or maybe I didn't keep my braces long enough to straighten out my teeth all the way, or I don't style my hair perfectly. These are all things I think when I look at myself in the mirror; all of my insecurites.
Yes, I know that I'm a creation of God and He made me perfectly, but why don't I feel that way? Why don't I feel beautiful? Even though I'm married and I have a man to love me no matter my condition... why do I still get insecure walking into to his workplace that's filled with beautiful women? What if one of them is just a little prettier than me? What if one of them catches his attention for just a second and his heart falters? I want to feel beautiful even when I'm sick, even when I take 2 hours to get ready, right when I wake up, after a workout or when I take my helmet off after riding the motorcycle. And just if you're wondering, when Megan Fox takes her helmet off in Transformers and her hair is completely perfect and not a strand is out of place... it's a lie!
1 comment:
I'm not sure when you started this but it is beauiful. You said on here what most women walk around thinking and I can say that you are not alone at all. I feel that same way every day. I look at pictures when I was younger and did not realize just how much better shape my body was in then it is today and I wish I could go back in time. Peopel can say it all they want but it is all what you feel inside that matters to you the most. Keep your head up my dear beautiful neice. In the years to come you will look back and think, what on earth was I thinking not to see the body I had. You are beautiful, inside and out. I love you!!
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